You have 9 months to prepare and then, boom! You are a parent.
Hopefully you and your spouse started the parental preparation before you found out you were having a baby, but we all know that getting into parent mode doesn't start until you see that first ultrasound.
Thinking about becoming a parent can seem daunting and overwhelming that no matter how many books you read, or how much advice your own parents give you, you will feel like you will never be ready.
The good news is you are alive and well so obviously your parents did something right, as well as their parents before them. If they can make it through, so can you!
Here are 10 things that many new parents legitimately worry about:
1. Labor
Part of becoming a parent is the actual delivery of the child, which for most parents, especially the mothers, seems pretty daunting. Although it will all seem like an overwhelming experience the first time around, you will be surrounded by medical professionals, and your spouse who will be there to see that everything turns out fine.
When you and your spouse hear that first little cry it will all be worth it! Plus it will both hit you that you are now officially parents.
2. Breastfeeding
This will be another experience that seems daunting to both you and your husband and many concerns will probably come to mind. What if it hurts? What if I don't have enough milk? What if we have to bottle feed? Will I be considered a horrible mother?
In the end, what is best for you is also best for your baby. If you and your husband decide to use formula and bottle feed your baby, good for you. If you decide to push through some of the discomfort that sometimes is associated with breastfeeding, than good for you too. There is no wrong or right, just what you both decide together for your little family.
3. Being mom/dad material
When you look at your own mother or your spouse's mother you may see a woman who always has her house spotless, cooks a delicious meal every night, and still has time to complete a long list of tasks. You, on the other hand, feel overwhelmed by everything, and top-ramen is probably what's for dinner tonight.
Your mom and your husband's mom will both tell you that this juggling act took a lot of time to perfect, and does not define being "mom" material. You and your husband are mom and dad whether you like it or not, so of course, you are also capable of handling the job.
4. Keeping the baby alive
This might seem a bit overdramatic, but it is a genuine worry for most new parents. With all of the scary articles on the internet, and the reality that SIDS can affect new babies, new parents can be anxious about the life of their newborn.
As long as you and your spouse feed, clothe, help the baby sleep, and bathe your baby it is most likely going to be completely healthy. If you both make sure to not have anything around that could choke or harm your baby while it sleeps, it will be fine. This over-anxiety can actually be pretty useful when it comes to your baby and will probably help your baby to be healthy and strong.
5. Loving your baby enough
Does my baby know how much I love him or her? Do I show him/her enough love?
In today's parenting we know the importance of children having love in their homes, which can cause worries about whether or not you and your spouse are showing that to your baby.
With babies, love comes in the form of holding them, feeding them, keeping them clean, and keeping them warm. If you are doing these things and more, you are giving them the love they need.
6. Baby crying
The fact is babies cry. It is the way they communicate that they need something. At times however, it may be difficult to decipher what that exact need may be.
For new parents this can be confusing and scary. Also the question of when should I let them cry it out versus picking them up might come into play.
But cries are nothing to be scared of, and the longer you have your baby the easier it will be to distinguish their cries and the needs behind them.
7. What other people think
When it comes to parenting, people LOVE to give their opinions. This can cause new parents to question everything they are doing and if it is "right".
As was mentioned before, there is no set "right" way to parent because every person and every child is different. Don't worry about what other people think. Instead trust you and your husband's instincts. If you have questions, there are going to be many people who will be willing to help.
8. Messing the child up
Everyone wants their child to end up happy and healthy both physically and emotionally, and understand that good parenting is a key to achieving that.
New parents may worry that something they are doing or not doing right now may "mess up" their child in some way in the future. But guess what? Nobody is perfect.
It doesn't take perfect parents to raise a perfect child. What it does take is hard work, love, and effort, and if you do these things with your baby they are probably going to turn out perfectly fine.
9. Not providing enough
Children can be expensive. They have a lot of things they need, as well as things they want. Babies can go through 20 or more diapers a day, and diapers don't grow on trees.
New parents may think they have to get every little thing that is recommended or shown for their baby and worry if they can't afford all of it then they are not providing enough for them.
Babies do have things that are pretty essential, but outside of those things everything else is just nice to have and won't be detrimental to their health or growth.
10. Everything
The very idea of having to take care of a human being for the rest of your lives can seem like the scariest thing in the world. You think to yourself, how can I possibly raise a child when so many bad things are happening in the world? There are wars, bad people, and corruption, how can I raise them to be a good person?
But it will and can be done, but it probably won't be perfect and it definitely won't be easy. However, you and your husband have a precious new life to mold that only you and him know how to do, and the love you have for one another and your new child will take care of the rest.
