Nothing prepares you for the moment when your first child lays in your arms. The surreal feeling of holding a living miracle who just spent nine months developing in your womb defies logic.
Those first thoughts as a mom that flood your consciousness last forever. I'm pretty sure not even dementia could erase these intrinsic memories. The evening of January 7, 1994 still echoes through my spirit. God welcomed our first-born son into the world, confident my husband and I were capable of caring for and nurturing his precious gift. Here are nine thoughts which flashed across my mind in the first minute of becoming a parent:
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LOVE. An all-encompassing miracle that is mine to hold forever.
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You are mine. My child, my responsibility, my precious gift. I am your mom!
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You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
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Do you know who I am? Do you recognize my voice? Can you sense my love?
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How on earth did God form this child from a sperm and egg?
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How can features so small be so perfect? Eyes, nose, mouth, lips, ears, fingers, toes, hands, feet, face, fingernails all tiny and proportionate. It's breathtaking.
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I will go to the ends of the earth and do everything in my power to protect you.
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What does it feel like to be out in the world after being snuggled in my womb all this time?
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I don't ever want to let go of you.
Writing this list and remembering the emotions floods my heart with gratitude for the gift of children. God blessed my husband and me with three of his children to care for. We are now entering our second year of an empty nest, with 22 years of parenting steeped in our hearts and minds.
The journey of child rearing rivals no other experience. Each age, stage, moment, and season provides blessings and opportunities for growth both as a person and a mother. My children have been my greatest teachers.
Letting them go has been difficult, but I am forever thankful for the privilege of calling them mine.
Some day, God willing, I look forward to hearing about the first minute of their experience becoming a parent. A moment when the love comes full circle and new memories are made.
