Every couple will have their moment or moments of difference in opinion when it comes to parenting. You will think one thing, and your partner will feel the complete opposite. They say the sky is blue, and it may be green to you. After all, you are still two different people who don't necessarily have to agree on every aspect of life. When it comes to parenting a child that you share, being on the same page when it comes to parenting will save you from a lot of arguments and spare your child of any confusion.
Getting on the same page when it comes to parenting is vital in raising well-rounded children. Use these tips to help you and your partner see eye to eye when it comes to how you parent.
Recognize that you are a team.
Your partner is not the enemy, and they shouldn't see you as one either. Raising children is no walk in the park, and once both of you can get on the same page about being a team, it will make it much easier to discuss your differences. The easiest way to do this is to sit down with your partner and have an open discussion about the hopes and dreams you each have as your children grow up. Talking about the aspirations you have for your children will get both of you excited about working together to see that those hopes and dreams come to life.
In recognizing the importance of being a team, it's also essential to back each other up when it comes to parenting. If children see their parents as a team, it won't be easy for them to divide and conquer their parents.
Pinpoint priorities.
There may be more important things to you as far as parenting goes, then it is to your partner. Be able to discuss the priorities you have set and why you prioritize those specific things. Be prepared to listen and respect your partner's prioritizes as well. Once you can talk about why your partner may think or feel the way they do about certain aspects of parenting, it will be easier to understand why they prioritize certain things. Talking about your individual experiences growing up will also help to understand priorities.
Talk strategy with your partner.
Now that you both are aware of each other's aspirations as far as your child goes, start planning how you can make these aspirations come to life. Think of ways you both can come together to see out your plan. Be respectful of each other's feelings when devising this plan and listen to the suggestions you each come up with. Most parenting strategies come from a person's own childhood experiences. Talk with your partner about their parenting strategy and agree on how rules and routines can be developed together. Devising an agreement on specific rules and methods will not only clear up any confusion your child may have but also keep you and your partner on the same page.
Focus on your similarities.
You and your partner came together to create life, so of course, there have to be similarities that you both share. Focusing on your similarities will allow you to become an even better team. Use your likenesses to your advantage when it comes to parenting together. Find something you both can agree on and build from there. Remember, the goal is to find a middle ground that works for both of you, as well as your child.
Learn to Embrace your differences.
Just like there are similarities you share with your partner, there are also differences you will have. Embrace them. You each bring uniqueness into your parenting relationship, make sure to incorporate it. Learning to embrace the differences you have will make it easier for each of you to express yourselves. It creates a safe place for each parent to feel entitled to offer their own opinion to things, even if it differs from their partner. Be open to accepting your partner's differences and see the positive in the view they offer. Once you can look at your differences from a positive angle, it will be harder to criticize or belittle them.
Seek help from professionals when needed.
There is no right or wrong way to parent, and some things may work for some families that won't work for another. When you and your partner get to a place where it feels like you can't agree on how to parent, don't be afraid to reach out for help. Seeking help from a professional such as a family coach, pediatrician, or behavior specialist will help provide you with the tools to help get on the same page with parenting. You will be able to learn practical communication skills to help bridge the gap you and your partner are having when it comes to parenting.
Talking to a professional doesn't mean you don't know what you're doing. It says that you love your partner and family enough to recognize that what you're doing isn't working, and you want it to be better. Many couples struggle with having respectful and productive conversations when it comes to parenting. The help of a professional will help ease the tension and offer suggestions to make getting on the same page a lot easier.
Parenting isn't going to always be easy, but as long as you and your partner are able to work together, it will make going through the motions of parenting a lot easier to bear. Children need clear expectations from their parents as they grow up. It's okay to have different parenting styles; in fact, it adds a uniqueness to your child's upbringing. However, being on the same page with your partner when it comes to how you parent your child is crucial for your child's development. Unified parents don't do everything the same, but the willingness to work together despite differences will create a positive environment for the entire family.
