A part of parenting is watching your kids grow older and go off into the real world. As your children develop through their teenage years and start thinking about life after high school, you may feel panic and anxiety set in. You come to terms with the fact that they’ll be moving out soon, away from your household where you can keep an eye on them. You start to replay everything that you’ve taught them throughout the years. Have you taught them everything they need to know for life on their own?
Teaching them some essential attitudes and skills will help prepare them when they fly out of your nest. Here are some ways to prepare your children for living independently and things you should teach them about before they move out.
Chores and life skills.
Making your children do certain chores at home can teach them about hard work, which will help them get ready for professional jobs. Tasks can also give them a sense of accomplishment and belonging. Watch them and make sure they do the work well and in a timely fashion. It would help if you also inspected their work and make them do it over if they didn’t do it right the first time.
Try your best not to divvy out chores according to traditional gender stereotypes. For example, teach your sons and daughters how to cook and do laundry, clean floors, wash dishes, and perform basic house and car maintenance. You could also get a family pet if you don’t have one. Pets can teach children invaluable life lessons about responsibility while providing great enjoyment.
Handling finances.
Some parents may be against things like allowance, but giving your children a regular allowance and making them use it to pay for things will teach them financial responsibility and a dollar value. It can also teach them how to create and stick with a budget. Consider opening a savings account for each of your kids so you can teach them about savings goals. Explain the idea of spending 80 percent of every dollar they get, saving 10 percent of it, and giving away 10 percent. This could also be an excellent time to teach them the value of volunteering and giving to the less fortunate.
It may not seem like fun to them, but the best way to teach your kids about how much things cost in real life is to take them grocery shopping. That way, you can compare the prices of goods with them in real-time. It would be best to talk about rent, utility bills, car maintenance, and insurance. That way, they’re not surprised when they step out independently.
Credit and debt are the last and most important financial items to discuss with your child. Explain how credit works to them and how they should avoid debt as much as possible. Teach them how much interest they’ll pay if they buy things before having the money in the bank to pay for them. Most importantly, teach them to tell the truth in their financial dealings. As they grow older, stop paying for all their expenses and shift the financial responsibility more and more to them.
Core values.
When your children go into the real world, as a parent, you can only hope that they remember the core values you taught them growing up. The best way to ensure they remember these values is to embody them yourself. Set an example for your kids by modeling a life of honesty and integrity for them. Pray about what matters the most to you and share these values with your children. Teach them the difference between truth and lies and urge them to show compassion for others. Treat others the same way you’d like to be treated. Make your children apologize if they’ve wronged someone and teach them to stick to their commitments. On top of everything else, teach them to respect people’s time and always be on time.
Good manners.
This may be a surprise, but many adults don’t have the best manners. That’s why you should make sure your children have manners and use them before going out on their own. Urge them to treat other people in the ways they would like to be treated themselves. It would also help if you taught them to address their elders respectably. For example, don’t let them call an adult by their first name. Teach them how to talk to people in person, via email, on the phone, and by mail. Finally, try your best not to engage in gossip and reprimand your children if you hear them gossiping.
Prepare yourself.
The last step to preparing your children for the real world is making sure that you’re ready. Make sure that you don’t depend too much on your kids for your happiness. Make sure that you invest time in your marriage and friendships while maintaining a healthy relationship with your kids once they’ve left. Now that you have some free time, invest in yourself by pursuing a career or volunteering at a local food bank or any other cause close to your heart. Ultimately, your children belong to God. Pray for them every day and trust that God will watch over them during their lives.
Letting go of your kids can be challenging for any parent. You’ve watched them grow throughout their lives, and now, they’re entering the real world. You wonder, “Have I taught them everything? Will they be okay?” However, you have to realize that you did your best as a parent, and now it’s time for your children to make their own decisions. Yes, they may stumble and fall, but you’ll be there to pick them up and dust them off. Even when they no longer live with you, you can still be their biggest supporter.
The bright side to your children leaving the nest is you’ll have more time to pursue your interests. Take that swimming class that you’ve always wanted to do or spend more time with your spouse/friends. Above all else, trust that you taught your kids the right things, and they’ll make you proud.
