Whether you are in a new relationship or have been together for years, you need to talk to your sweetheart, especially when it comes to important things like the holidays.

Recently FamilyShare writer Lindsey Miller shared the true killer of relationships: unmet expectations.

So if you want to save your relationship this holiday season, make sure you realize both of your expectations and make them more realistic. The best way to do that is by talking to each other.

Here are three things you need to talk about before you spend the holidays together:

1. Gifts

We always say it's the thought that counts, and though that will carry you through 60 percent of the holidays, it will not carry you through a relationship. You need to know what you are both expecting when it comes to gifts.

Do you want something timeless or are the amount of gifts more important? You need to talk to each other and establish what the other person is expecting.

But go beyond just "what do you want this year?" Talk about your likes and dislikes so you can surprise each other but avoid getting something they actually won't like at all.

2. Parties

Parties can be one of the hardest things on relationships because you don't want to be stuck somewhere with people you don't like, but you'll do it for the one you love. With that being said, you should make sure you know what they want to do for the holidays.

Do they have specific parties they attend or traditions they always follow? Are they party people at all? Do they have to wear something specific to a party?

You probably know the answer to some of these questions, but it's never a bad idea to get verbal confirmation that you are both thinking the same thing.

3. Family

There are so many jokes about getting together with family during the holidays. Unfortunately most of these jokes are made to avoid the real pain of getting together with extended family. There are always the family members that are awkward or don't really know each other and end up saying things they didn't really mean.

Then you have to remember that you are bringing someone new into the mix, and your family might have some expectations of your sweetheart. It's very important to clarify this for your love so that no one (especially your sweetheart) is embarrassed at family parties.

The other part is to share what your family is like - who makes the inappropriate jokes and who is going to ask all the questions. They may not be able to remember everyone's names, but it's important for them to have a heads up. This will help your sweetheart feel much more comfortable when awkward things do happen.

Holidays are an exciting time for any relationship. Make sure that you talk about each of your expectations so you can enjoy the holiday season together.