In the age of digital dating, there are many new words and terms that come with the territory. Although the dating patterns may not be anything new, the words that describe them have evolved through the years. According to Pew Research Center, 53 percent of Americans aged 18 to 29 have used dating apps while 37 percent of Americans aged 30 to 49 have used the apps.
The first term that is commonly used is ghosting. Ghosting refers to someone suddenly cutting communication with you without an explanation. The "ghoster" vanishes, leaving you with many unanswered questions. The term orbiting is when someone ghosts you, but they continue to "orbit" around you such as following you on social media and occasionally engaging with your content. In 2022, a study by CyberPsychology surveyed 176 people about either being ghosted, orbited or rejected and asked them to fill out a questionnaire rating their feelings on the breakup. The results found that being ghosted led to stronger feelings of exclusion than being rejected outright. People who were ghosted were also more likely to feel that their basic needs of belonging, self-esteem, and control were threatened. However, people who orbit seemed to buffer victims partially from the emotional consequences of a breakup. While victims of orbiting reported feeling higher levels of exclusion and threat to their basic needs than those who were rejected outright, but less than victims of ghosting did. Maybe sporadic attention softens the rejection for some.
Breadcrumbing is a term when someone drops small bits of flirtation to keep you interested, but is never interested in pursuing a real relationship. Some signs of breadcrumbing could be not responding to messages for long periods of time, vague communication, and avoidance of discussions related to feelings. These actions tend to boost the breadcrumbers ego and self-worth. A 2020 study of people who have been breadcrumbed found that they are significantly more likely to have feelings of loneliness, helplessness and less life satisfaction than victims of ghosting. Because breadcrumbers tend to keep contact for much longer, it negatively affects someone's mental health more than being ghosted or orbited.
It is imperative for people to take care of their mental health when dealing with situations such as ghosting, orbiting or breadcrumbing. Many psychotherapists recommend additional ways to meet new people instead of only finding dating prospects online. This can positively affect people's mental health and prevent them from experiencing burnout when it comes to dating.
