You haven't failed. Remember that.
If your husband isn't attracted to you, it's not your fault. But it is a relationship challenge that the two of you need to take ownership of and work on together.
And you can do it.
Here are 10 things to do when your husband isn't attracted to you anymore:
1. Go on a first date
Your husband has changed. You've changed. So maybe the two of you need to fall in love with each other all over again. Go to dinner and a movie. Let him open the door for you. Don't talk about the kids or the bills. Just get to know each other as if you've never met before. (Believe it or not, you'll probably learn something new.)
2. Avoid pornography
One of the biggest myths about sexuality is that pornography can spark a sex life. In reality, it absolutely destroys it. Scientists have found that the fake images in pornography actually rewire the brain making it so that porn is the only thing that causes arousal. So instead of being turned on by you, your husband is only attracted to highly edited images.
3. Ask him 36 questions
Scientists set out to understand how intimacy is created and they found it: 36 questions that unlock love. Attraction is made up of so many elements that we sometimes forget how much emotional and mental intimacy play into overall attraction. If you want to reignite your husband's attraction to you, try asking him these questions.
4. Check his hormone levels
The jury is still out on whether low testosterone levels cause low libido. However, about half of the studies conclude that if a man's low on testosterone he has a lower sex drive. If he's not feeling attracted to you, you may want to consider going to a doctor to check his hormone levels.
5. Do something thrilling
Reigniting the attraction in your relationship can be as simple as jumping out of an airplane, taking a ride on a roller coaster, crashing a wedding or robbing a bank (wait, do not do that). Studies show that people report being more attracted to their partner when they do something thrilling together because it gets adrenaline and other hormones pumping through their systems.
6. Try something new
Getting out of your comfort zone together can bond you and your husband like nothing else. Go get Korean body scrubs or take a cooking class. Just make a new experience that's all yours.
7. Gaze deeply into each other's eyes
Some studies find that gazing into someone's eyes for an extended period of time can actually ignite passionate feelings. It's a strangely vulnerable feeling, but if you can last for a few minutes, this practice can have an affect on how much your husband is attracted to you.
8. Learn his love languages
He might not be feeling attracted to you because you're not giving him love in the way that he feels it. Maybe you are great at saying "I love you," but your husband feels love when people spend quality time with him. Learn the way that he feels love and give it to him to reignite his attraction to you.
9. Believe in your own attractiveness
If your husband isn't attracted to you, you might start doubting your own attractiveness. That self-doubt can wear down your confidence, causing you to actually be less attractive. If you don't feel beautiful, buy a new dress, meditate or get a facial, whatever you need to feel like the gorgeous woman you are.
10. Get away together
If you want to boost your husband's libido, you have to get out of your house and your daily routine. You need to be away from the kids and from daily challenges. Go do something romantic together like a couple's massage and spend time in a place where you can breathe away the stresses of life and focus on each other. For example, spend the night at Island Spa and Sauna for only $45 where you can just relax and detoxify the challenges of your relationship.
