We all know divorce rates are skyrocketing. But do we know why so many marriages fail? Could it be that our expectations are not realistic?
Here are 20 myths about marriage that are still prominent.
1. Marriage is hard
Marriage is not easy, but it is not hard either. If you don't treat it like an unwanted chore, it won't be one. As long as both of you put in effort to strengthen and maintain your relationship, marriage will not be difficult.
2. You will always be in love if you marry "the one."
No marriage is perfect. No matter how hard you try, some arguments and disagreements cannot be avoided. Marriage is based on both your commitment to your spouse as well as your compatibility with one another.
3. Your spouse will change for you if they truly love you
If you go into your marriage with this idea, your marriage will be based on manipulation. People can change, but the thing that changes them is love. It is your job to love your spouse, not to fix them.
4. Things only get tough if you marry the wrong person
Every marriage faces hardship. During turbulent times, don't try to escape. Don't give up on your spouse, and they will not give up on you. You two are a team. If you work things through, your relationship will become even stronger than it was before.
5. It's all about love
Sure, marriage is based on loving another person unconditionally, but there is so much more to it than that. You will ace every problem together, every tragedy together and every triumph together.
6. Your kids should come before your spouse
This is a belief many still hold on to. Your children are some of the most important people in your life, but it is your spouse who should come first. Having a strong and healthy relationship with your spouse is a form of security for your children.
7. Marriage means you are in charge of your spouse's happiness
In all reality, you are in charge of your own happiness. You can surely make your spouse happy, but only if they allow you to. If your spouse constantly relies on you for their happiness, neither one of you will truly be happy.
8. You don't have to tell your spouse everything
Being secretive can make an enemy out of your spouse. Marriage is based on putting your full trust in your spouse. Don't keep vital information from them for any reason.
9. Couples don't fight in healthy marriages
Sometimes arguments can't be avoided. But this doesn't mean you have to scream and shout at one another to get points across. Being honest and working through problems together makes your relationship stronger.
10. Marriage fixes everything
The problems you had when you were single will still be present when you are married. The benefit of marriage is constantly having a wonderful person to act as your support system when things get tough.
11. The people who know you best will give you the best marriage advice
Never assume your friends know all there is to know about relationships. If you truly need advice on your marriage, ask a mentor or someone you fully trust who can give you insight.
12. Marriage makes you happy
Another person can truly make you happier, but only if you are happy to begin with. If you cannot complete yourself and be happy independent of anyone else, you will not find true happiness in another.
13. Marriage means sacrificing your freedom
People always relay the message "have fun while you still can" when you are single. Marriage is one of the most enjoyable experiences you will ever have in your lifetime, and you get to spend time doing the things you love with someone who loves you more than anything.
14. You must be as dedicated to your parents as you are to your spouse
Your parents may have raised you, but your dedication and loyalty to your spouse should be stronger than your loyalty to your parents. You are committed to your spouse. Don't say anything disrespectful about them and don't let anyone else disrespect them either.
15. Marriage is the finish line
Marriage may be a significant point of your life, but that does not mean you have to quit living after you get married. There are still many things to discover in your life. Don't let yourself waste away and give up on your dreams after you're married.
16. Your spouse should be able to read your mind
Mind reading is for comic books, so don't make your spouse play the guessing game when you are upset or frustrated. You will continue to be frustrated, and they will continue to be confused. Honesty is key.
17. All marriages have a universal path
No couple is the same. Some may have children and others may not. Do not feel like your marriage is only successful if you follow a certain path.
18. Differences will destroy your marriage
It's not about different interests; it's about responding to each other's interests. Asking questions and trying to understand your spouse is key to a healthy relationship. You are both different individuals; therefore, you don't have to agree on everything.
19. You have to do everything with your spouse
You are committed to your spouse, but remember to take time to bask in your own interests. You will be rejuvenated and appreciate your spouse's presence in your life more.
20. Happily ever after doesn't exist in real life
Happily ever does exist. But as with fairy tales, it exists after facing many different situations together. If you love, communicate, never give up and trust one another, you will most certainly find happily ever after.
