Falling in love is a magical experience. And knowing someone loves you can make you feel like you're floating. But realizing your guy might love you for some less than stellar reasons can have you sinking back down to the ground. Here are four more signs he loves you for the wrong reasons:
1. He's got you pegged
Your man may think he loves you because he knows everything about you. He always picks the perfect presents and knows your special dish from your favorite restaurants. This might sound dreamy, but a man who knows everything has nothing left to learn. Part of the fading passion in longer relationships is the lack of mystery. When your guy sees you as predictable early on, he also sees you as static. Every person has a deep well of being that can never be fully known. If your partner feels like he knows everything now, he might not like what he finds later.
2. His love is your loss
You know your guy loves you for the wrong reasons when he keeps track of your sacrifices. If his love for you is based on what you've lost for him, you have a serious issue. This isn't the same as asking you to deal with an addiction or release toxic relationships. These are things that ultimately hurt you, and letting them go is best for you.
On the contrary, someone who truly loves you wouldn't ask you to let go of things that make you feel happy, whole and joyful like life goals, good friends, family and hobbies. He either sees these sacrifices and the resulting struggles as proof of your love for him or he enjoys seeing you give up on things you want and suffer for it.
3. You've got it taken care of
When he loves what you do for him more than he loves you, his love isn't genuine. You're less his life partner and more his housekeeper, cook, babysitter, therapist and personal assistant. You handle his daily affairs and his intimate needs. But so could anyone else.
Real love isn't so replaceable. But these tasks could be taken on by anyone else and his feelings for them would be the same. This makes you easily interchangeable with another person.
4. You don't need his help
Being a strong, independent woman can backfire in love. Sometimes men attach themselves to women who don't ask for much because they don't have much to give. He may love you because you don't need his shoulder to cry on when you're hurting. When you're struggling you figure things out on your own. And when you're angry you keep it to yourself or blow off steam somewhere else. He might love you because he doesn't have to support you emotionally. And that's not really love, is it?
Knowing why someone loves you is just as important as knowing they love you. Being loved for who you are lets you know your relationship is unique. Your partner should value you as an individual and cherish what makes you special, not measure how much you give or he gets.
Who you are fundamentally won't change. But all of these relationship traits can easily be altered, crumbling his love for you. Love like this is fragile and won't last. A strong foundation begins with respect, and love based on something real can come soon after.
