My friend Merline was 41 years old and a mother of four when she and her husband of 18 years divorced. Their marriage had been a story of frustration and both emotional and physical pain.

She then began searching for the right husband. She met him a few years later - and it is because she knew some things that some of us don't realize could be hindering your search:

1. You are not including God in your search

He knows - and wants - what is best for us. After all, marriage was His idea and He has been involved in matchmaking since the first couple in the Garden of Eden.

2. You are not praying on the issue

Prayers are the point of contact with God, the move that invites Him in our situation and the switch that releases His power in our circumstances.

How should we pray? By being specific in our request and persisting in prayers, and then trusting that He loves us and will lead us where we need to go.

3. You are not ready to change

How would you describe your dream spouse? Let's say it is someone who is romantic, hard-working, kind and faithful.

It's likely that your future spouse would like you to have some of those characteristics as well. If you aren't striving to be those things that you wish to see in a spouse, it will be harder to find someone to be them for you.

4. Your idea of the "perfect mate" may not be perfect for you

Everyone has an idea of what their "perfect match" would be like. But sometimes, holding on to unfair standards, especially when many of them are materialistic or superficial, will only lower your chances of finding someone you are truly happy with.

The right mate is not necessarily the hottest bachelor(ette).

By setting such criteria as non-negotiable on your list of qualifications, you may disqualify someone who could actually turn out to be a wonderful spouse for you - someone you'd be truly happy with.

Keeping these things in mind, and allowing God to help guide you, can lead you to that person you've been waiting for.