Meeting a good guy who's actually unattached can be exciting. But looks can be deceiving. He might be single, but that doesn't mean he's available. Even if he has no girlfriend and some free time, that doesn't mean he has room for you. So here are five early signs he's emotionally unavailable.
1. He avoids commitment
The best and easiest way to determine a man's emotionally availability is to check his interest in commitment. After dating for a few months, he should know if he wants to be exclusive. If he still needs time to figure it out, he's unfortunately not open to you. He may still be interested in dating other people or just be unsure about committing to you. But he's more interested in freedom than building a relationship.
2. He doesn't like labels
Sometimes guys will concede to exclusivity while also trying to keep things casual. It's the best of both worlds for him but only half of what you need. He's still emotionally unavailable if he pledges monogamy but doesn't want the title. He'll treat you like his girlfriend but won't let that label enable you to make demands on him.
3. He moves on quickly
Even if your guy does decide to become exclusive and even officially make you his girlfriend, he may already have his escape planned. A serial monogamist isn't thinking about building a future, only securing the present. He's only comfortable being tied down for so long before things get too serious and he starts to feel antsy and uncomfortable. This type of guy will quickly move on to another relationship and act fully committed to this new person, only to abruptly end that union as well and keep things rolling on.
4. He's easily rattled
The catalyst for this breakup is often shrouded in mystery. You may be "ghosted" and given no reason or fed some suspicious or foolish nonsense designed to keep you from asking questions or finding solutions. But an emotionally unavailable man often thinks normal issues are insufferable and leaves to avoid stress or pressure.
Typical life trials and tribulations like family, friends, work and life problems are overwhelming dramas. And emotional, medical or mental turmoil requiring empathy and support is unbearable. He'll take off from your "complicated" relationship and attach himself to someone he deems simple and easy.
5. He puts you second
If you're lucky, during the relationship you may feel well taken care of. But an unavailable man is also likely to be unsupportive and unappreciative of his woman. You will feel put aside for his more important priorities like his job, hobbies or friends. You may even find he seems more affectionate and in love with his pet than with you. He'll be there for you in some capacity but not to the degree you've made yourself available to him.
There's no need to waste your time with a guy who keeps you at a distance. Staying at arms length makes him feel safe and in control of his emotional world. He wants the benefits of being in a relationship without the emotional risks or vulnerability. His time might be unoccupied, but that doesn't mean he's free.
Emotional unavailability is typically easy to spot early on. It may feel unfair to end things prematurely, but waiting for him to grow into the right guy is futile. Use that time to keep searching for the love and loyalty you deserve.
