When I think of all the good women I've met throughout my life, I consider myself lucky. I've learned many things from them. I want to share with you some advice I've learned from those who have dealt with affairs in their marriages.
Most importantly, know that affairs are not the fault of any of these women-it is the choice and responsibility of their husbands. Relationships are two sided however, and these are some things they have discovered to strengthen their marriage.
1. Time
It's common among married women to worry too much about household management, children, housework, organizing strict schedules and diagraming every minute of the day. It's easy to always be aiming for the picture-perfect family. But these behaviors become damaging to the family and especially to husbands when these routines take priority.
Spend quality time with your husband. Don't put your children ahead of your spouse, and leave your parents out of your relationship. Don't choose laundry over a good talk, and don't decide to scrub the kitchen when you could go on a walk together.
2. Excitement
When we get caught up in daily tasks, we become boring (and even bored). Any woman, regardless of marital status, should have her own life: reading, studying, writing, learning new skills and taking care of herself. Be your own person. Your husband will value your joy, intelligence, hard work, beauty and good humor. When you are interested in yourself, you will become irresistible. People who know how to be themselves are the most interesting.
3. Romantic interest
Many wives believe it's a husband's obligation to love them. It's sad to meet women who believe love is a light that never goes out. What a mistake! To be in love, we must constantly work to nurture that love and not lose the things that made us fall in love with that person. Always find ways to serve your spouse and tell him you love him. Remember, you aren't forced to stay together, but you stay because you want to. You aren't dependent on someone else to be happy, but you can help each other be happy by working at staying in love.
4. Acceptance
Some women are extremely busy "improving" their husbands, but all this does is make their husbands feel they aren't good enough. The desire to improve ourselves needs to come from within. Trying to change others is an act of selfishness. You married a man, not a child who needs to finish being raised.
5. Freedom from judgement
Contrary to what most people think, infidelity in men has little to do with intimate relationships or the physical beauty of women. It's actually common to see that the "other woman" is usually not as beautiful as the wife; she's just happier, more relaxed, less strict and full of life. Men often look for someone to talk to, who will listen and not judge or criticize them.
I will repeat what I said at the beginning: being unfaithful is the perpetrator's decision. It's not your fault. It's the decision of your spouse. But it is your responsibility to work on your self-esteem, improve yourself and do what you can to add value to your relationship.
This article is a translation and adaptation from the original article Lo que los hombres encuentran fuera de casa con otras mujeres.
