Are you feeling a slump in your marriage? If you're like most couples, your relationship with your spouse has its share of ups and downs. But if it feels like something has been off for a while, one of these five culprits could be to blame. If you can take control of these little things, you are bound to see an upswing in your marriage.
Going to bed at different times
Going to bed at different times may not seem like a big deal, but it can have a much bigger impact on your marriage than you think. According to the The Wall Street Journal, "spouses who go to bed at different times report significantly less relationship satisfaction than those on the same schedule. They have more conflict, spend less time in shared activities and serious conversation, and have sex less frequently than couples with similar sleeping schedules."
Syncing up might be difficult if one of you is a night owl while the other is an early bird. Making compromises that allow you to lie down together each night will be worth the overall benefit to your relationship.
Bringing office work home
Though it isn't always possible, do your best to leave work at work. It's an important part of maintaining the ideal marriage relationship. Not only does it take away from time with your spouse, it's enough to cause a vicious stress cycle that will do anything but help your love life.
Don't check your work email and remember to change your clothes promptly when you get home and take a vacation once in a while to help recharge and reconnect with your family. After all, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Avoiding eye contact
Between chores, children, and mobile devices, spouses have little time to look each other in the eyes and make a connection. "Eye contact can be especially meaningful in today's world of constant partial attention and it conveys a sentiment that the person you're with matters," says Daniel Sieberg, author of The Digital Diet. "Taking that extra time when possible can really yield benefits with face-to-face interaction." Make it a priority to set aside time during the day to focus on each other away from all the distractions.
Allowing technology in the bedroom
If you find yourself turning to your cellphone, laptop or television more often than paying attention to your spouse in bed, it might be time to declare the bedroom off limits for technological devices. Take technology out of the bedroom and suddenly you have a lot more time for one another. Relationship therapist Tanya Koens suggests even a few seconds or a couple minutes everyday can make a world of difference.
Not taking time for yourself
When you invest a lot of your time into others, you need time to recharge yourself. It's easy for parents to think they need to be on hand for every beck and call. If you think you can't get away, think again. Author Amy Tiemann reminds us that "taking care of yourself will make you a better parent and partner. You'll be more fun to be around and more responsive to your family."
Cariloha believes everyone deserves a little luxury and some "me" time every now and again. Make your bedroom a safe haven with their comfy sheets and treat yourself to some extra luxury. Visit Cariloha.com for more ideas on how to make your bedroom the sanctuary you and your spouse need to reconnect and improve your marriage relationship.