There was a time where it felt like your relationship was on fire. There was no stopping your connection and the spark between you. Now, the light has dimmed, and you’re wondering what happened to the love you had for each other. This feeling can be excruciating, especially when it translates at home, and into the bedroom. There are several reasons your husband may be distant from you, which could be getting in the way of your connection. You must deal with these issues if you want your marriage to work. Here are six reasons your husband doesn’t want sex.
Insecurities
Your husband may be fighting insecurities you’re not even aware of. Even when you’re with the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with, insecurities will be present. Your husband may compare himself to the person you were with before them or the co-worker you’re always talking about. They may be dealing with inadequacy issues, especially if there are other issues present in the relationship. Your husband may also be dealing with other issues outside of the marriage that are getting mentally.
Infidelity
Does your husband seem distant? Is he spending more time away than with you? These may be signs of infidelity. Infidelity shows up in different forms, both physical and mental. It is one of the greatest obstacles that can destroy marriages. If your husband is having a physical or mental affair, it will certainly get in the way of his relationship with you. Too often, people think it’s a “just-in-the-head” affair. They wonder if it’s that bad if there is no sex involved. Mental and emotional affairs are so sinister because it is an affair of the mind. You may think it’s just a friendship, but it is way more damaging than that. They also hope that their significant other will continue believing what they tell them to continue in their unhealthy relationship. Infidelity is a marriage destroyer, no matter how you look at it.
Pride
We are often told to guard our hearts, so it’s hard for us to give away pieces of our heart when we’ve dealt with pain from previous relationships. So when it’s time to give everything to their marriage, they struggle because they don’t have anything left to give. There is a very dark side to the pride that can undo your marriage. If you had a sexual past that your husband knows about, his pride might get in the way, and he may hold that past over you. This isn’t healthy, but it happens more often than not. Pride can reveal itself in other ways. It can show up verbal put-downs, the “I’m right, and you’re wrong” mentality. It is also a big driver of entitlement. It is completely centered on self-interest.
His Work Life
One thing people often don’t think can get in the way of your sex life is work. His work life may be so overwhelming that he is not even in the mood to have sex. Sometimes the biggest threats to our marriages are our occupations. If your husband is so caught up in his work, he may turn to his career for satisfaction and gratification. If he is hard-working and driven, certain things like money and accolades at his job can turn him on and take away from his home life. If you feel like work is getting in the way of your sex life, see if there are some ways that he can balance out his work-life responsibilities. It is ok to put certain boundaries in place to keep work away from the bedroom.
A Visual Affair
You may think a visual affair is innocent, but these can be just as damaging as cheating with another person. This can occur with someone you know, but it can also occur with someone you don’t know. It involves fantasy. In the past, these relationships typically occurred in the office or even a motel room. Now, we have greater access to it with such great access to the internet. Pornography falls into this category. Your husband may not think it’s that serious because he doesn’t feel like committing a physical act. They think that as long as they aren’t touching that person, they aren’t violating their marriage. The truth is, porn takes your mind away from your spouse and places it where it shouldn’t be. The more you engage in visual adultery, the more likely you will be cheating on your partner. If your partner is addicted to porn, it’s time for him to seek help. There is no way that this won’t take away from your marriage.
Medication
Did you know that taking certain medications can lower a man’s libido? The same goes for women. While the medications your husband takes may help treat certain conditions and diseases, they can also have some pretty serious side effects. These include sexual dysfunction. This can lead to sexual disinterest and the inability to stay aroused during sex. If your husband is dealing with these issues, there is hope. He can work with a physician who can help alleviate these issues while also still treating the condition he is dealing with. If your husband thinks that his medication is impacting his sex drive, have him talk to his doctor so he can get back on track. Not only can these medications have physical ramifications, but they can also impact his mental health.
If any of these things are showing up in your relationship, pay attention to them. It’s ok for your husband to be tired sometimes and to even want some space, but if he’s spending more time figuring out how to be away from you, something is up. Don’t ignore your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Talk to your spouse and take the necessary steps to ensure your relationship gets back on track.
