Marriage can be so difficult sometimes. Now, I LOVE marriage. But, I always said that marriage counseling was the one type of counseling that I had absolutely no interest in pursuing. I don't want to sit around listening to unhappy couples complain about something that I really didn't believe was worth the effort anyway.
Then, I fell in love. Being in love with Mike helped me understand the love of God in ways that I had never comprehended. As we moved towards marriage, God really helped me understand how amazing a marriage that is rooted and grounded in Him could be.
I love this greater picture that we are painting. A picture that declares to the world that there is a groom who will one day come for His bride. Jesus loves His church and His church loves Him. Beautiful. Suddenly I understand that marriage is something worth fighting for. It's too important in the kingdom to make light of.
However, marriage is not always beautiful. Two becoming one can be as difficult and ridiculous as it sounds. I LOVE my husband and he LOVES me, but man, there are some moments where I find it extremely difficult to love him and I know myself well enough to know that there are times where it is difficult for him to choose to love me as well.
I am still figuring out this marriage thing but I know that the passion and desire that I have to make the most of my marriage for God's glory and to inspire others to do likewise is from my Father. Today, I want to share some verses that help me to love my husband and really anyone (but especially my husband) when it is difficult.
Hebrews 13:4
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
People tend to focus on the second half of this verse, which is also, of course, important. I want to focus on the first part though. "Let marriage be held in honor among all ..." Marriage is losing its importance in our culture. I personally want a marriage that inspires others to reconsider the value that they have assigned to marriage. I want my marriage to inspire others to honor marriage. This is my God-given desire for my marriage and when married life gets complicated, it is this truth and desire that I force myself to focus on.
Luke 6:45
The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
There is this old song that a former co-worker of mine would sing all the time. I found the song to be obnoxious but the message of it has always stuck with me. It said something like "Garbage in, Garbage out. What goes in, must come out." What are you putting in? What are you allowing to stay in? I am a total grudge holder. I'll be angry at Mike for things he did before we were even married. I have to make sure I am not allowing bitterness and resentment in constantly. We need regular evaluations of our own hearts even when our marriages are all good.
1 John 4:19
We love because he first loved us.
I love this verse. We are capable of loving others well because the Author of love chose to love us first. When marriage is hard and challenging, remember how powerfully you are loved by God. Ask Him to overwhelm your heart with His love all over again. He loved us at our most unlovable. He loved us at our absolute worst, and it was His love that drew us to Him. It was His love that began to change our lives and hearts. He loved us when we were unlovable and He has empowered us to love others, especially our spouse.
Luke 7:47
Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven - forshe loved much. But he who is forgiven little,loves little.
He has empowered us to love others well and He did this by forgiving all of our sins. Through Jesus' sacrifice, all of our sins have been forgiven and we now have access to God. When our spouses are difficult to love, spend a moment remembering that God has forgiven your many sins. Let that fact overwhelm you!
When I am having some intense discussions with Mike (he doesn't like to call them fights), I tend to go to our bedroom (because I love a good door slam) and I lay on our bed and try to focus on what God has done for me. It is not easy at first. It may take hours but eventually, I can feel something break inside and I am able to acknowledge that God is so good. He is so good and He cares about me and my husband and our marriage. Because He loves me so much and has forgiven so much ugly in my life, I can love my husband even when it's hard or my feelings are hurt.
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
I can love him, even when it's hard. There's so much power in choosing to love someone even when they are being human and we get hurt. When we get hurt, we tend to draw away. We pull back and we protect ourselves. We protect ourselves with distance, with passive aggressive actions and comments, with more hurtful words, etc.
This is not love. True love covers a multitude of sins. It covers a multitude of offenses, of mistakes, of short remarks and bad attitudes, of long work nights and little communication. Love doesn't say everything is OK. Love says this is not OK, but I choose you and we WILL work through this.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
Stop and think about each of these. Am I being patient? How has Jesus been patient with me? Am I being kind? How has Jesus been kind to me? Get it? This seriously helps. Replace the word with Jesus and find examples of how these verses are true in your life. Let that truth inspire you to love well!
Editor's note: This article was originally published on Andriana Robinson's website. It has been republished here with permission.
