While there are many issues that cause couples to fight, money is one of the main drivers behind the arguments. In fact, money fights are the second leading cause of divorce – only behind infidelity. Couples have high levels of debt and a lack of communication about their finances, which creates stress and anxiety in the household. Between couples, animosity and frustration typically arise.

When couples get rid of their debt and live with a healthier financial mindset, there is a huge shift within their marriage, and each person can focus on other key elements within their life. Almost half of the married couples start off in debt. It’s crucial that couples often communicate about their financial health, financial goals, and debt. In a Dave Ramsey interview, bestselling author and personal finance expert Rachel Cruze said, “Couples also need to understand their money, like who’s the spender and who’s the saver, so they can be on the same page with their finances.”

You’re probably wondering, how can I prevent money from ruining my marriage? Honestly, it’s a constant effort and should be reassessed over the years because what made sense in the first years of your marriage will not make sense later. Incomes and expenses are constantly changing. If you decide to add to your family, purchase a home, or make investments, your finances will become drastically different. Therefore, you need a plan.

Here is a breakdown of what you and your spouse can do to avoid being another sad financial statistic.

Schedule regular conversations about your finances.

Be proactive and not reactive. Schedule regular financial conversations with your spouse, and do not cancel them. Just like a doctor’s appointment or an important work conference, log a reoccurring meeting on a calendar, and create an agenda. As tempting as it might be, don’t cram a financial discussion during a date night or quality time. Having a financial plan will help you create a stronger marriage, but it shouldn’t infringe upon your quality time.

During these conversations, the couple can discuss upcoming major purchases such as required car services, housing updates and/or maintenance, upcoming travel plans and expenses, savings accounts, investments, future necessity purchases, reoccurring bills (increases, decreases, changes), and other financial items that require planning.

If you and your spouse have never participated in regular financial communications, then it’s wise to have these conversations on a monthly basis; however, as a couple becomes more financially savvy, these conversations can become a quarterly discussion.

Identify who is responsible for paying the bills.

One person should be responsible for paying all the bills. With that said, both partners should agree on how and when the bills should be paid. If everyone feels more comfortable paying through a Bill Pay option, provided by the bank, then go that route – if not, discuss the alternatives. While there should be one designated person to pay everything, both parties should know bill due dates and where everything (websites, passwords, and other details) are stored.

Set goals together.

It is important to create goals together because your chances of achieving them will be higher if you’re both on board. Couples should set goals for getting out of debt, paying down bills, buying a home, saving for retirement, and contributing to the joint savings account.

Some couples find it easier to have separate bank accounts and contribute their monies to a joint account, which pays out bills and goal items. However, other couples find it to be simpler to manage one bank account together.

Talk about your goals during your regular financial conversations and be willing to listen to your spouse – even if you don’t initially agree with their idea. Sometimes the best ideas are the ones we create together.

Create a budget.

Everyone should have a budget, and if you’re married, both individuals should contribute to the plan. Create a list or Excel spreadsheet of all bills and set up clear spending guidelines for dining out, fuel, entertainment, and other frequent purchases. Consider creating spending rules. For example, if you plan on making an unbudgeted purchase that exceeds $50, check with your spouse and give them a heads up. By keeping track of daily financial decisions and working together as a team, you’ll decrease the chances of being stressed about money.

Think about creating an allowance. Having an allowance could decrease the chances of getting upset about unbudgeted expenses and create better financial habits overall. As the years go on, reassess your budget and be proactive in the changes. For example, if you’re no longer using a gym membership, cancel it and perhaps opt to put that money in the savings. Or maybe you are outgrowing your house, before you purchase a larger home, assess your budget, and see if you can actually afford it.

No secret purchases and no secret accounts.

Honesty truly is the best policy. Do not make secret purchases and don’t stash away money. It’s one thing to purchase a present for a birthday; however, it is another thing to hide an expensive pair of shoes or pretend like you didn’t charge something on a credit card versus your agreed budget plan. Not only is a secret purchase or account a bad financial decision, but it is morally unsound and will create a question of trust within your relationship.

Give each other space.

Allowing someone to be financially responsible can be difficult and overwhelming; however, you must trust your spouse. Do not get in their business by inquiring what they purchased with their allowance or create guilt for an off-budget purchase you agreed to. It’s important to give each other space and let your spouse be an individual.

Remember to stay humble and be forgiving because everyone is human and will make mistakes every now and again. Try to give your spouse grace when they forget to give you a receipt for the financial records, go off-budget and buy lunch, or spend a little more than expected on a purchase. Money can make things complicated, and that is why it is imperative for couples to have a game plan, and be willing to communicate when it’s working and when it’s not.