What type of woman makes a “less-than-excellent” wife? Could you possibly be dating one and not even know it? These are some tough and scary questions to ask yourself but are vital when you are thinking about making the leap into marriage. Here are the signs she’s not the type of girl you want to tie the knot with.
She's a party girl.
If you’re also the type of person who loves to go out to the club multiple times a week, drink like a fish, and live that kind of lifestyle, maybe a party girl is the perfect match for you. However, most guys want to be able to spend some quality time with their wife on a regular basis and eventually start to settle down from that crazy lifestyle. Sure, you can enjoy boys’ night and she can enjoy heading out dancing for girls’ night every now and then, but if your partner would rather spend an evening doing shots with strangers than cuddled up watching a movie at home with her partner, it may be a sign that she’s just not ready to be anyone’s wife. If she’s still in the party girl stage of her life, that’s alright — but you probably don’t want to be the drag of a husband constantly begging her to stay home and actually spend time with you.
You walk on eggshells to avoid conflict.
You may think of it as “keeping the peace,” but what you’re really doing is treading water and reinforcing the status quo of broken lines of communication. If this is a strategy for trying to sort out your thoughts and feelings, that’s one thing, and you need to put a time limit on it. However, if you are actively avoiding talking with your girlfriend out of fear, that’s another. People who grew up in toxic households are much more likely to adopt an avoidant stance because they learned to quash their feelings and tiptoe in childhood. Consider if this is a problem you have and how to work through it.
You have physical symptoms.
Bad relationships manifest in strange ways, especially for men. An unhappy relationship chronically feels bad. It’s like a cold that lingers, leaving you drained and vulnerable. Symptoms can include severe headaches, diarrhea, constipation, nausea, neck, and back pain. Many patients in bad relationships suffer from depression and claim they're constantly fatigued, while those who have anxiety report insomnia. If you feel that you are more yourself without your partner than it's a sign that getting married isn't the right next step.
She tries to keep you to herself.
When a woman doesn’t want you to hang out with other people like family and friends, she believes on some level that you are supposed to devote your life to her. She may want you to make your relationship not only the most important relationship in your life but the only relationship that really matters. You don’t want a wife who is unwilling to let you nurture your other relationships. While your relationship with her will be the most important relationship of your life, you need to develop and nurture other relationships that benefit you in other ways. Friends and family are also incredibly important for your overall happiness and health.
She has no other passions or interests.
Passion is what helps us get up in the morning. It gives us a reason to keep going and make the most out of our days, and without it, we can struggle to figure out exactly what the hell we should be doing or why we should be doing anything. Yet, so many people live without a real passion life. It doesn’t matter what she’s passionate about. It could be raising a family, boxing, crafting, finding success in her career, animals, equality, or the like. Passion will give her purpose, and that will make her a more interesting, fun, balanced, and non-clingy wife.
If her only passion is you, then she is going to become smothering. You will be the only reason she gets up in the morning, and when you are not living up to her every expectation and fulfilling that void where her passion should be, your marriage is going to get rocky. You will become exhausted, she will become upset and unfulfilled, and that will go on for years until she gets a passion or you get a divorce.
She has lied about important things.
When you first start dating someone, you definitely make sure that you have your most flattering outfits on, that you don’t get sloppy or overeat, and that you paint yourself in the best possible light. After all, you’re trying to impress your potential partner. However, there’s a difference between squeezing into Spanx to make sure your dress looks fantastic and straight out lying to you. If you find that your partner has lied about something major, such as her job or her age or anything like that, it’s a huge red flag that she probably wouldn’t be ideal wife material. You’re supposed to be completely honest with your spouse, and a marriage built on a foundation of lies is bound to be a rocky one.
You aren't able to show love in the way she prefers.
You may not do what she wants you to do perfectly all the time, but you do try to be a good guy to her. You show her the respect she deserves, you do nice things for her, and you try to make her feel loved and supported. Despite all that, she doesn’t think you are trying hard enough. This is a big sign that she could make a bad wife. If she doesn’t appreciate your efforts in the beginning, then she’s probably not going to appreciate them later on. The more you don’t live up to some sort of expectation she has, the more nagging, fights, and hurt there will be in the relationship.
You think marriage will change her.
Relationships naturally diminish in intensity as the year's pass. It’s expected that we will have a little less sex, make a little less effort, and find our partner’s quirks more irritating than charming. While the spark may still be there, it is dimmed – and you think that a wedding is a fast pass to make it shine anew. You are also starting to feel the pressure from friends and family to make that next step, even though you aren't 100 percent sure it's the right idea. Throwing a ring on her finger just because you think it will save the relationship and appease society is a terrible reason to get married. Down the line, the problems you and your partner haven't will continue to resurface and cause further issues.
Getting married is a huge commitment that should not be taken lightly. Really debate if this is the right next step for your relationship, or if would make better sense to let your girlfriend go. Just because she wasn't the one for marriage doesn't mean it wasn't a worthwhile relationship, and you'll find someone else that will be a better fit down the line.
