Let's face it: marriage isn't the easiest thing in the world. While it's wonderful most of the time, it takes a lot of hard work to make it successful.
You might be feeling like your marriage is especially difficult lately, but you're not sure whether you should be concerned. It's never fun to fight, so here are nine signs your marriage is on the rocks (and nine ways to fix it):
1. Conversations are dull
Remember when you used to stay up super late and talk about everything with your sweetheart? Maybe you can't remember the last time you had a deep conversation now, or wish your chats were about something more than how your day went.
The fix
Communication is crucial to a healthy marriage, so get talking. If you're having a hard time coming up with conversation topics, ask each other questions and get to know each other again.
2. Physical touch is basically nonexistent
Physical touch and intimacy are very important in a healthy marriage. If you're not making an effort to apply this in your lives, it's sure to hurt your relationship.
The fix
Make an effort to hold hands wherever you go for a week. You'll find that you actually enjoy that connectedness, and it will bring you closer as a couple.
3. Small things are starting to bug you (a lot)
You know it shouldn't drive you crazy when your husband leaves a dirty dish in the sink, but you find yourself stewing about it for days. This could be attached to a deeper problem, and you need to get to the bottom of it.
The fix
Take a good look at your marriage and get to the bottom of what's actually bothering you, then talk about it with your spouse. Communication is the most important thing, and being open will make your marriage so much better.
4. You don't especially enjoy each other's company
You don't hate being around each other, but it's not your favorite either. Happy couples don't have to spend every minute with each other, but it is healthy to enjoy each other's company.
The fix
Go out and do something you don't normally do. Instead of bingeing your favorite Netflix series, explore a museum or go on a picnic. Spending quality time together doing new things will bring a sense of excitement and adventure to your romance.
5. You constantly fight
Arguing is totally normal in every relationship, but full-on screaming matches every day aren't. If you're constantly fighting with your spouse over everything, it causes immense stress, making it impossible to improve your romance.
The fix
Set boundaries for your arguments. Agree that you won't yell, you'll actually listen to each other and you'll take a break if things get too heated. Learning how to fight in a healthy way will help you work things out faster and more rationally, thus leading to more spark in your relationship.
6. You're focused on the past
Maybe your spouse did something that didn't make you happy two months ago, and you just can't get past it. When you fight, it seems like that one thing always comes up and you get angry about it all over again. This is not healthy and needs to stop.
The fix
While it's OK to be angry for a little while, you and your spouse need to learn to apologize, forgive and let it go. Moving past previous arguments will set you free, and you'll be able to love your spouse without any resentment.
7. You feel more like roommates
You live together, but instead of building a home full of love you mostly just tolerate each other. You're aware of each other's presence, but there's no fun involved in creating a space where you can share a meaningful life as a couple.
The fix
Start by making small improvements to your home/apartment/living space. Put a picture from your wedding up on the wall or buy a decoration you both love. Make a point to make dinner together, then sit and eat it at the table. This quality time will help you truly appreciate your marriage.
8. You don't say "I love you"
Telling your spouse you love them is arguably the most important thing you can do in a marriage. Even if you're not feeling a lot of love right now, it's still there and it can always grow.
The fix
Tell your spouse you love them at least once every single day (if not multiple times a day). You'll find very quickly that those three little words have a lot of meaning, and you truly do feel that way about your sweetheart.
9. Your partner is abusive
This situation is a little different because abuse should never be tolerated. If you're experiencing emotional, mental, sexual or physical abuse, you should get to a safe place.
The fix
It can be extremely difficult to leave, but you deserve to be loved and cared for, not abused. Get yourself to a safe place, then decide where to go from there.
I recently heard a quote that said, "A marriage is like a house. When a lightbulb burns out you do not go and buy a new house - you fix the lightbulb."
Apart from cases of abuse, there's usually a way to repair what's broken in your marriage. It takes time to find what works for you as a couple, but taking the time to figure it out will do wonders for your marriage and bring back the passion you once shared.
