It has been in some of the hardest moments of my life I've felt that flame within me I believe every woman is born with. It's a flame of goodness; the makings of a quality woman. The flame, if fed and cared for, grows in a woman until you can see the light in her. It shines from her eyes. She leaves traces of it on every person she interacts with.

Have you known women like this? The kind where you feel light radiate from them? These are quality women, and there are many in this world. These quality woman can be identified by these characteristics

1. She's her own best friend

I've known several quality women in my life, and each one of them has been her own best friend. Not in a narcissistic way, but in a healthy, confident way.

Diane von Furstenberg said, "The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself."

The refreshing thing about a woman who loves herself is that she actually focuses on herself far less than a woman who hasn't developed that love yet. Her energy isn't spent wondering if she's appearing awkward or embarrassing, so she focuses it on loving those around her.

2. She celebrates another woman's triumphs

A quality woman celebrates the good things that happen to other people. She doesn't get caught up in wondering why something good didn't happen to her instead.

3. She loves people for who they are NOW

There aren't conditions on her love. She's not necessarily blind to character flaws, but she doesn't let that stop her from showing someone love now.

4. But she doesn't let them settle with mediocrity

She'll push those she loves to be a little better, not because she's judgemental, but because she can see their amazing potential.

5. She never stops learning

Knowledge is so much more than formal education. She recognizes hard times as a chance to learn. She's thirsty for information. She keeps learning, because she knows the power of a beautiful mind.

6. She forgives herself

A quality woman is not perfect. She slips up. She has bad days. She accidentally says hurtful things on occasion. She forgets a birthday. She might lose her temper on occasion. And when those things happen, she resolves to do better and forgives herself, because she's only human after all.

7. She says thank you

Quality women never become quality women all on their own. They have examples and mentors along the way, and they know that more than anyone. A quality woman lives a gracious life, because she knows she owes it all to others.

8. She watches out for the lonely

At some time in our lives, we all fall into the lonely category, even a quality woman. And often it's what we do while we're in our loneliest moments that define us the most. A quality woman knows the best medicine for heartache is to lift up someone who is having a harder time.

9. She keeps things in perspective

In her book "Walk Two Moons," Sharon Creech writes, "In the course of a lifetime, what does it matter?"

As bad as things seem in the perspective of one day, will it really be so bad when you look at it 30 years from now? Some heartaches will, some won't. A quality woman knows when to mourn, when to let it go and when to move forward with hope.

Every woman has the seeds of greatness in her. A quality woman isn't defined by her social status, race, money or nationality. She's defined by her heart, and that's something we all can nurture.