Let's face it, ladies. Your husband cannot, nor will he ever be able to, read your mind. Of course, he is sweet and caring and loving and you'll always love him (after all, you did consent to marry him) but when it comes to feminine cues, he may not always pick up on what you're trying to tell him. A common example of this involves dates. Dating once you're married is a little simpler (you don't have to wait for him to drive to your house to pick you up) and a little more complicated - you have a lifetime together and it's easy to slip into the same old dating routine. (Plus, you have to care about how much he spends on dinner.)
If you want your honey to keep taking you on fun, interesting dates, you'll have to help him along. Remember, even though he's married to you, he might not know all your preferences, and he definitely won't know how important a weekly date night is unless you TELL HIM. If you need help getting started, here are some tips and tricks for getting your hubby to take you on dates.
Give him ideas
If you're tired of the dinner date night or movie night in, give your husband ideas of other things you'd enjoy doing. He probably doesn't even know you're bored of the same old thing. The mere pleasure of your company is all he might be thinking about. But it helps keep your marriage fresh and exciting when you change things up. So look up other activities in your area or try something new. Bungee jumping, anyone?
Tell him where you like to eat
Do you hate that barbecue place he keeps taking you to? Don't just grin and bear it. Let him know, in gentle tones, that you'd like to try something new. Give him a variety of options, or tell him the one place you've been craving. Either way, he'll appreciate the input.
Keep his schedule in mind
With all the busy happenings in your own life, don't forget to plan around your husband's schedule, too. Does he have a video game night? Hunting plans? A college class? When you ask him to take you on a date, be ready to suggest evenings when both of you will be free.
Offer to set up babysitting
Finding a babysitter can be the trickiest part of going on a date. It helps when there is family nearby, but when there isn't, you have to calculate into your date time for picking up the babysitter, getting her oriented with the kids, driving her home afterwards, and, of course, paying her. It might be too overwhelming for your husband, so take that matter into your own hands, leaving him free to plan your romantic evening.
Plan ahead
For me, part of the fun of going on a date is the anticipation beforehand. If I know we're going to a movie I've been looking forward to or to a concert of my favorite band, it's fun to know several days or weeks ahead so I can clear my schedule for that evening, reserve a babysitter, and set aside time for doing my hair and makeup. Your husband will likely feel the same way, so do yourselves a favor and set up dates you can excitedly anticipate.
Be spontaneous
On the other hand, a sudden desire to go for a walk or to a movie can be fun, too. This is difficult to arrange when you have kids, so it may only be possible if you have family or good friends nearby. Even if you can't get out of the house, help your husband plan something fun and romantic to do once the kids are in bed. Here are 5 tips for talking about sex with your spouse.
Express appreciation for the date
Guys like to hear appreciation just as much as women do, they just don't always let us know it. It might even be nice to write him a thank-you note or text the next day to reiterate how much fun the date was. Or when you arrive home from the date, pretend it's your very first one and say what you said after that first romantic outing.
Avoid guilt-tripping
If your husband isn't taking you on dates as often as you'd like, the last thing you should do is make him feel guilty about it. Instead, find a private moment to express your love for him and your desire to continue to do fun things together, even though you're already married. Here are 10 things nobody told you about being married.
Make dating goals
Family life is so busy, it's easy to let date night get pushed to tomorrow, next week, or next month. But if you sit down together and talk about it, you can make date night a priority and plan on one night a week when there can't be any other activities scheduled. It doesn't have to be extravagant - just an hour or two of alone time. After all, your marriage is what holds your family together.
People like to say they married their best friend, but do you treat each other like best friends? If you never spent one-on-one time with your best friend, would you even be friends anymore? If you aren't going out on dates, don't suffer on in silence. Tell your husband how you feel and make a change. You'll be glad you did. Here are more tips on how to maintain your marriage after kids arrive.
