In a time when societal norms are constantly changing and examined, a new study on infidelity highlights the challenging psychological nature of extra-relational affairs.
The University of Western Ontario and Johns Hopkins University researchers explored the minds of Ashley Madison users, a dating platform designed for people seeking affairs. The results exposed insights that oppose long-standing theories about why people cheat, bringing new questions about human behavior in intimate relationships.
This landmark study, one of the most thorough investigations of its kind, uncovers several paradoxical findings. One of the most remarkable findings is that most people engaged in extra-relational or extramarital affairs described having strong love feelings toward their primary partners. This contradicting behavior reveals a bamboozling intersection of infidelity and emotional attachment, indicating that the reasons behind infidelity are more nuanced than previously assumed.
The research showed that people can battle with moral consistency, promoting values that presumably forbid cheating while also engaging in affairs. In a statement, lead author and associate teaching professor Dylan Selterman said TV shows, books, and movies show people who have affairs battling with guilt. However, those feelings didn’t transfer to this sample of participants.
Selterman added, “Ratings for satisfaction with affairs was high – sexual satisfaction and emotional satisfaction. And feelings of regret were low. These findings paint a more complicated picture of infidelity compared to what we thought we knew.” The study’s demographic scope was primarily male, middle-aged Ashley Madison users. This skewed sample can be limiting, but it provides rare insights into a demographic that isn’t typically studied regarding infidelity.
The participants, broken up into three sample groups, were given either one or two separate questionnaires to complete at different times or asked to fill out both. The questionnaires asked about the participant’s relationship status, intimacy, satisfaction, quality, and conflict. It also asked about their life satisfaction, self-esteem, and motivations for having extra-relational affairs.
The results bring a significant challenge to conventional ideas about infidelity. In the past, the public and scholars typically believed people had affairs because they were dissatisfied with their primary relationship. It was assumed that people who chose to have affairs were struggling with conflict in their relationships, unhappy with their partners, or looking for something their current relationship didn’t provide.
However, this study revealed a more complicated reality. Despite cheating, participants still displayed a high degree of love for their primary partners, trying to fix their relationship and reporting high satisfaction in their personal lives. These factors typically encourage fidelity, but they coexisted with the participants’ infidelity. Sexual dissatisfaction was a significant motivation for affairs, underscoring the idea that relationship satisfaction and the desire for extramarital affairs aren’t mutually exclusive.
Another essential finding from this study was the quality of primary relationships didn’t foretell feelings of regret after affairs, nor did it decrease due to the participants’ infidelity, contradicting prior research that affairs indicated problems in the relationship. This study may offer new insights, but researchers warn against overgeneralizing the results due to specific limitations.
