Cheating is one of the most upsetting things you can experience in a relationship. Losing trust, feeling betrayal, and being blindsided can make it feel that your world is crumbling around you. How do you prevent your relationship from ending because of infidelity? There are a few gateway drugs into cheating. These may seem innocent at first but can open the door to a full-blown affair. Be wary of these actions and talk with your partner about them before it becomes a problem.
Social Media
Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and even LinkedIn can be detrimental to relationships. While the tools are great for connecting with friends and family, they also encourage you to check in on old flings or add beautiful people you do not know. Messages to “catch up” or get to know someone can quickly lead to something more sinister. Given the privacy social media can provide, it is also very easy to hide flirty conversations from your partner. Additionally, seeing other people’s relationships and lives on social media can make you feel envious. You might start questioning if you are missing out on something better when there is really something great right in front of you.
Pornography
Some couples are flabbergasted at the thought, while others are much more open and accepting. Many see pornography as an innocent substitution for when they cannot please their partner or a fun way to spice up their personal sex life. However, watching it too often can poison your relationship. Scenes that play out are a fantasy that can never fully be recreated in your bedroom, which gives partners a false sense of sex. It focuses so much on the physical part of sex and none of the emotional side. Eventually, pornography will not be enough, and partners may start venturing out into live chat rooms, too. This can only lead down a dark road.
Flirting
Many people think little flirty comments to people they are not dating are innocent, but in the long run, it can be exceedingly hurtful to your relationship. This might be known as “micro-cheating,” where a partner will engage in relatively small acts of emotional infidelity because it is fun or exciting. This can give the partner the feeling that they can “have their cake and eat it too.” Cute little texts to a coworker of the opposite sex, though, never end up fine. Even flirtatious comments to a waiter at a café or keeping a dating profile online are inappropriate behaviors, even if it has not turned physical. Flirting slowly opens the door to cheating and causes partners to stray after a few months.
Self-Esteem Boost
A big driver of cheating is insecurity about one’s attractiveness. People who feel they are no longer beautiful are more likely to cheat because they crave reinforcement. They start to think that getting it from just their partner is not cutting it. This can start innocent, like posting revealing photos on social media for likes and comments. Over time, though, it can lead to needing more substantial reassurance. You might crave getting physical touch from someone you think is out of your league because it will make you feel better about yourself. In truth, though, you will end up feeling guilty and shameful.
Friends of the Opposite Sex
Your partner may have many friends of the opposite sex that they have known for years that they hold legitimately platonic relationships with. However, there is always the risk of friends turning into something more. No partner should ever be so controlling that they request their partner cut off friends, but if things are starting to get fishy, it is worth a conversation. Additionally, seeking out friendships with the opposite sex should generally be discouraged. While you might trust your partner, you might not be able to trust the new friend because you do not fully understand their intentions.
Distance
Many long-distance relationships thrive, but infidelity is a much more significant concern for these couples. Long-distance relationships require a lot of intentional communication to stay connected. When one or both partners do not feel they are getting enough support, it is easier for them to turn to someone else. If you are in a long-distance relationship, it is vital to have set days for FaceTime dates to help get more eye contact. Always have a date for when you will see each other again because that gives each of you something to look forward to. It makes the temptation to cheat lessen.
These gateway drugs into cheating can quickly ruin a relationship. Before it becomes a problem with your partner, talk about having strict and clear boundaries. Define what actions are okay and which ones are not, so that there is never any confusion. These precursors to infidelity do not have to take your union down if you do not let them.
