During a class at Fresno Pacific University, a speaker asked one of the spouses in the audience:

"Does your husband make you happy?"

At this moment, the husband stood up straighter, showing complete confidence. He knew his wife would say yes, because she had never complained about anything during their marriage.

However, his wife answered the question with a resounding "No."

"No, my husband does not make me happy."

The husband was baffled, but his wife continued:

"My husband never made me happy and does not make me happy. I am happy."

"Whether I am happy or not is not dependent on him, but on me. I am the only person on whom my happiness depends.

I choose to be happy in every situation and every moment of my life, for if my happiness depended on another person, thing or circumstance on the face of the Earth, I would be in serious trouble.

Everything that exists in this life constantly changes: the human being, the riches, my body, the climate, my boss, the pleasures, the friends, and my physical and mental health. I could quote an endless list.

I need to decide to be happy regardless of anything else that happens. Whether I own a lot or a little, I am happy! Whether I'm going out or staying home alone, "‹"‹I'm happy! Whether I am rich or poor, I am happy!

I am married but I was already happy when I was single.

I'm happy for myself.

Other things, people, moments or situations are experiences that might cause joy or sadness. When someone I love dies, I am a happy person in an inevitable moment of sadness.

I learn from past experiences and I live those that are eternal like loving, forgiving, helping, understanding, accepting and consoling.

There are people who say: Today I cannot be happy because I am sick, because I have no money, because it is very hot, because it is very cold, because someone insulted me, because someone stopped loving me, because I don't know how to love myself, because my husband changed, because my children do not make me happy, because my friends do not make me happy, because my job is mediocre and so on.

I love my life not because my life is easier than anyone else's, but because I have decided to be happy as an individual. I am responsible for my happiness.

When I take this obligation from my husband and anyone else, I free them from the burden of carrying me on their shoulders. It makes everyone's life much lighter.

And that's how I've had a successful marriage for so many years."

Never give anyone else the responsibility to control your happiness. Be happy, even if it's hot, even if you're sick, even if you do not have money, even if someone has hurt you, even if someone does not love you and even if you do not value yourself.

That goes for women and men of all ages.

This article was adapted and translated from the original, "Perguntaram a esta esposa se seu marido a faz feliz: Sua resposta foi inesperada." It was originally published on familia.com.br.