For starters, I want to clarify that no matter the reason, there is no excuse for any woman (or man) to have an extramarital relationship.
But, there are some damaging viewpoints on marriage that need to be corrected. I have heard multiple times that it is the duty of a woman to keep the marriage healthy and happy. Wives are expected to: care, love, have and take care of children, listen, cook, clean, wash, iron and so on.
Hundreds of books tell women how to be the ideal wife. What strikes me is that they want a balanced woman who exercises, grocery shops and maintains a social life while satisfying the needs of her children, work, family and home. While there are noble ideas behind some of these, a glaring hole must be addressed: as a husband, you must give the same work and care as you expect from your wife.
Statistics show it is more common for a man to be unfaithful in marriage, but this doesn't excuse a woman to cheat. Men are not the only ones who seek for something else when they don't find what they want at home. When women are ignored, humiliated or mistreated, they sometimes seek solace in the arms of another man after doing everything in their power to satisfy their spouse.
These are the main reasons a wife falls in love with another man, and, in turn, how to prevent such a disaster from happening:
Lack of romance
A bouquet of flowers just because, a note on the refrigerator, a phone call at noon to tell her how much you appreciate her: women notice those gestures, because they mean the world to them. Don't neglect intimacy. You don't need to go to extremes, because your wife will appreciate the simple things.
Neglect
If your job is demanding and stressful, you should remember that caring for a child who needs attention every minute of the day can be overbearing as well. Learn to leave your worries, stress and anger at the door. Your wife needs you to be positive and eager to help when you're home.
Loneliness
Most women like to talk, so if you do not spend at least five minutes everyday listening to her, she'll likely stop opening up. Her daily demands and your lack of attention may leave her feeling devastatingly lonely. If you travel continuously for work, learn to indulge in the little things for her to make your long distance relationship fun and romantic.
Anger
Being on the receiving end of a lost temper is never fun, and if she finds herself in that situation frequently, she'll likely look for a more gentle relationship. Learn to control your anger. If you're upset with your wife, wait until you calm down to clarify the situation. When you make a mistake in your relationship, don't place the blame on your wife. Have the courage to apologize.
Lack of support
If you want an independent woman who has a social life outside the home, she needs your support to do so. She won't leave your children if you aren't willing to watch them for her. Encourage her to pursue her interests. If she wants to return to school or work, she needs your full support to follow through on those decisions.
Look around. If your spouse is lonely, frustrated or depressed, you need to do your best to show her how much you love her. Good wives give their lives for their families; every day, every minute. If you want a lifelong relationship with your wife, you must learn to listen and to show you love her.
Remember the beginning of your relationship. Remember how you felt, how you looked at each other and how hopeful the future was.
Now you are her life
Give her more than you ask in return and never ask for more than you're willing to give. Respect and love in marriage will make for a relationship that endures through the years. My last suggestion is to care for your wife every day, because if not, she may already be looking the other way.
This article has been adapted and translated by Amberlee Lovell from the original, "
Por qué una esposa se enamora de otro hombre," which was originally published on familias.com._
