When you think about making a mistake, you probably also think about feeling a bit of embarrassment, laughing awkwardly or maybe hanging your head in shame. But when the same mistake is made over and over again, that embarrassment (and an awkward chuckle) is replaced with anger, frustration and disappointment.
These emotions can have a negative impact on your own life, let alone your relationship. Whether that's forgetting to pick up milk, forgetting to put the seat down or putting your kids' clothes on backwards, you want your spouse to be better ... but they keep messing up.
Why are they always making the same mistakes?
The simplest answer? It's probably habitual. Maybe your spouse doesn't intentionally form these habits, but they are there. But maybe, these habits are ingrained responses to certain situations and emotions.
Maybe your honey doesn't handle stress well, so he pushes away responsibility (like remembering to pick up the dry cleaning). He forgets to do important things because he's pushed away his stress instead of addressing it. Other things are weighing on his mind, and these mistakes are a subconcious way of addressing them.
Whatever the reason, understanding what your spouse is feeling and thinking can help you gain some compassion and find a solution. When your honey makes a mistake (for the umpteenth time) analyze what is happening and their other responses to help get to the root of the issue, then address it.
Sitting down and talking to your darling is a direct way to address why the same mistake is happening over and over again. Or, you can quietly observe and see if you can figure it out for yourself.
So, now that you know why they are doing it, how do you help them change?
You could nag but we all know that a nagging wife leads to insecurities in the relationship and might even end the relationship all together.
What's important to remember here is that you don't want your husband to feel attacked, or feel like he is failing. Your man won't change if you try to guilt him into remembering that Tuesday is carpool day.
After talking (or quietly analyzing) your mister, remember what stressor seems to trigger his forgetfulness or other lapses and bring them up. See if you can help soothe those stresses or help your honey handle life a little more smoothly. Remind him that he can't control everything that is happening, but he can choose how he reacts.
Listen to their feelings, hug them to give them reassurance ... and then explain your side.
It's hard for people to do an important thing if they don't understand how important it is for you. Communicating how important it is for your husband to dress the kiddos in a certain way or buy a certain brand might encourage him to change (and correct his mistakes). Your kindness and physical touch will also help them feel loved and give them a desire to change for the better.
Now, this strategy won't stop every mistake, but hopefully it will put the two of you on the same page and help you both work towards a solution together.
