I was pretty lucky when it came to dating. Every guy I dated made me smile and laugh, but one of my ex's made me cry more often than I smiled. Neither of us were perfect, I struggled with self-confidence so I was very clingy and he ... well, he never really told me why he acted the way he did.

He would insult me and call it a joke. He would push me away and tell me that he was too busy for me. I would cry. I rarely smiled when I thought of him. We would text and I would cry. We would go on a date and I came home sobbing.

Simply put, I was completely unhappy in the relationship. Looking back I realized that he had been emotionally abusing me. I don't think he did it on purpose, but I was grateful to get out of the relationship when I did.

When we broke up I started to feel happier and life continued. I finally found an amazing man who I married. Even when I am upset with him, he can still make me smile. He can still help me to be happy.

You deserve to be happy not only in your relationships, but in your life. When you are in an unhealthy relationship you can tell by asking yourself this basic questions:

Are you happy?

Don't say yes immediately. Think about it.

If you are happy, what makes you happy? If you are not happy, why?

When unhappiness stems from a bad relationship, you will recognize these signs:

1. When you think about him, you want to cry or frown

2. You feel anxious about everything and think what you are doing is wrong

3. Your happiness depends on his mood

4. Your friends are worried about you

5. You always feel like you are the source of all your relationship problems

This kind of relationship it is hard to break off because your happiness is connected with the good mood of your boyfriend or spouse, but it should never be that way. A man should not change your ability to be happy.

You should be able to find happiness by yourself.

When you are comfortable with your flaws and your perfections then you are more likely to be happy. Find that confidence within yourself so you have the courage to break off a relationship that doesn't make you happy. If your relationship is the cause of your unhappiness get out of it. The right guy will help you be happy, but won't be the cause of it. He will do his best to make you smile more. He will push you to do your best and be your best. So search for happiness, but you can find it with or without a man.